Tix ticker

YOU GET A TICKET!
The Oprah Winfrey Show, Sept 4
Harpo Studios
Anyone who’s made harrowing attempts to nab nationally coveted Oprah tickets knows the drill: Bomb Miss O’s reservation line hoping to connect the millisecond it’s free. Happily, a Craigslister has already done the dirty work for you. All you need is $75.

WISHFUL BIDDING
World Series, TBD at Cubs, Oct
Wrigley Field
We know what you’re thinking: The Cubs haven’t made it to the World Series yet, so how can tickets be for sale? Ahh, the wonders of Internet speculation. On eBay, a season-ticket holder is auctioning eight seats for $59,999 to a theoretical Fall Classic game.

BLOOD MONEY
Ultimate Fighting Championships,
Oct 25, Allstate Arena
We can only assume that seeing Ultimate Fighting is a little like going to Blue Man Group: The closer you sit, the more unidentifiable liquids you get splattered with, hence more fun. That would explain the $1,999 eBay “Buy It Now” price for two cage-side seats to this brutal man-on-man bloodbath.