Holiday Survival Guide

You couldn’t be more excited about the holidays: the lights, the music, the comfort of family and the love of friends.

Yeah, right.

More like: the debt, the racket, the stress of family and the expense of friends. As the season progresses, dilemmas and regrets inevitably build. But this year, no matter how awkward the situation, our team of experts will get you through it: We’ve tapped Josh Klapow, 41, clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Alabama-Birmingham; Andy Katzman, 33, TOC’s own human resources manager; Abigail Szymonik, 30, senior financial accounting analyst at Schiff Hardin LLP; and Betsy Hjelmgren, 34, owner of Feed to Succeed LLC nutrition services, for tips on surviving the sometimes trying holiday season.

Situation: Dinner-table conversation turns awkward.
As you’re passing the rolls to your cousin’s bratty son (most of which he’ll touch and/or breathe on), your conspiracy-theorist aunt proclaims, “Did you see Barack Hussein Obama with those Arab people? He was shaking those terrorists’ hands. I’m positive he is the Antichrist.” Your family knows you volunteered for Obama’s campaign and lost your voice after cheering wildly in Grant Park on election night, so everyone at the table turns to you for a response.

Solution: Keep your mouth shut, advises Klapow. “Your impulse is to be defensive, but you’re not going to win no matter what you say to a person like that. It’s a lost cause.” Instead, steer the conversation to something more neutral. Compliment the host on the meal or ask your aunt how her dog is doing. Everyone will be relieved.

Situation: Out of control at the office holiday party
After a year of layoffs and pay cuts, your company throws a holiday party in the conference room. After three cocktails, some mystery punch and two tequila shots, you pretend the ficus in the corner is a stripper’s pole. The next day, you awaken with a terrible headache and a vague recollection of calling the CEO a pussy. You’re not sure how to face your coworkers the next day.

Solution: Chances are, Klapow says, if other people were drinking too, you’re won’t be the only one to be embarrassed. However if you were the only person to get obnoxiously drunk, “face the music and know for the vast majority of people, time makes memories fade. There’s nothing you can say or do to make that go away, so stop trying. Keep your mouth quiet, head up and do your job.”

According to Katzman, the holiday season is one of the busiest times of the year for human-resource professionals to deal with employees’ inappropriate behavior, so you’re not alone. But that doesn’t make it much better. “This is what I would call a career-defining fuck up. You need to quit your job. Most likely, it will be one of those office legends that lives in infamy,” Katzman says.

The best way to handle the situation is to avoid it in the first place. Once you start feeling the buzz, it’s time to leave the party. Or better yet, consider drinking soda all night instead.

Situation: Spent too much on gifts
After living on unemployment for the last month, you blew any extra cash on holiday gifts. Now, the mortgage is overdue, and you’re in desperate need of groceries. You’ve already sold your maximum amount of platelets this month at the Red Cross. You’re contemplating opening a new credit card, breaking into the 401k or volunteering at a soup kitchen so you can eat for free.

Solution: Szymonik likens volunteering at a soup kitchen for the free food to helping out with a toy drive and then taking the toys. And dipping into your 401k is a big no-no, unless it’s for a down payment on a house or to pay for a college education. Szymonik advises you to find a credit card with a low APR, rewards benefits and a low monthly limit.

Situation: Annoying in-laws
You’re forced to endure your spouse’s extended family once a year, during an all-day holiday gathering. To survive, you’ll need plenty of alcohol, but if you pass out or act belligerent, your spouse will surely punish you later. You just have to find a way to keep the in-laws drowned out.

Solution: Hjelmgren points out that it takes the liver about one hour to process each alcoholic beverage, so take it slow and snack along the way. “Find food that contains a little protein or fat such as cheese and crackers, a small sandwich, nuts and pretzels, or fruit and yogurt,” Hjelmgren says. She also warns that you’ll be consuming a lot of calories, so drink lots of water and carve out some gym time for the next day.

Situation: Dinner outings getting pricey
You want to join the holiday dinner outings with your friends, but every time you go to a restaurant, someone decides to split the check, even though you have carefully selected the cheapest dish to keep your costs low. You want to participate but don’t want to look like a cheapskate by complaining.

Solution: Klapow recommends confiding in your friends that you’re on a budget. “Unless you know for sure that they have money to burn, then there’s a good chance that you’re hanging with people whose financial status is similar to yours.”

Szymonik offers a different approach. “Suggest an alternative to the normal dinner and drinks. Perhaps a potluck at someone's house with plenty of vino, or a tapas and sangria dinner at your favorite neighborhood place.” In the end, you’ll be considered thoughtful, rather than cheap.

Situation: Eating and drinking too much during holidays
With the extra sweets and cocktail parties, most people pack on some weight between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, and you don’t want to be one of those fools trying to work it off in the gym on January 2. You’re realistic to know you’re going to eat and drink more than usual, but you need guidelines to keep from going overboard.

Solution: It’ll be difficult to resist temptation to overindulge during the holiday season, but Hjelmgren says “what you eat over a period of three to seven days has a much greater impact on your body than one particular meal.” So plan ahead by limiting your number of outings and being mindful of what you’re eating the days leading up to and following a party. When you do go out, keep Hjelmgren’s following rules in mind.

- Never go to a party starving, as it will be much harder to control yourself around the treats.

-Listen to your body and stop eating when you feel about 80 percent full.

-Get physical despite the bad weather. Schedule a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise every day, even if you have to break it into three ten-minute chunks. The ten-minute walk around the parking lot looking for your car counts, as does shaking your booty at holiday gatherings.

-Don’t freak out if you gain a few extra pounds. Just two weeks of dedication in the gym will put you back on track.

Situation: You’d rather buy gifts for friends than family
You managed to keep your job during’09, but since you were one of the suckers who bought a condo with an adjustable-rate mortgage, your monthly expenses have skyrocketed. On your barely-hanging-in-there budget, you have to be pickier then ever about whom to exchange gifts with, and truth be told, you’d choose a friend exchange over a family one any day. The friends give you unique bottles of wine and risqué coffee-table books while your family thinks you’re still into Tinkerbell accessories. How do you tell the fam that you want to cut them off your gift list?

Solution: “You’re a loser,” says Klapow. “If you can live with yourself for cutting your family off the list and mooch off your friends, you have a hell of a lot more problems. You need a major life overhaul.” ’Nuff said.