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Cougars! The Musical
Cougars! doesn’t exactly exploit a banal pop-culture trope—it just kinda does. Rather than predictably track Botoxed fortysomethings who chase younger men, Bellinger and Malone’s clever, over-the-top musical adds 20 years onto that “something.” Okay, 30. This glib tale about a sweet Southern lady (Wager), a voluble Latina (Montalvo) and an uninhibited sass (Bellinger) who sing about boxes and balls (not the cardboard and bouncy kinds) introduces the idea that the G in G-spot actually stands for “grandma” while managing to be truly appealing.
Continuing from a workshop production at Annoyance Theatre, Cougars! feels more like sketch comedy than a full musical. Despite primitive production values, some unfocused scenes, a slight plot, broad characters and casting that may be too young (it would be fun to see genuinely older ladies bump, grind and tongue-flick through this show), a series of fantastically written numbers—with hummable melodies and gut-busting lyrics—are knocked out of the park. Montalvo’s scene-stealing spitfire and Ford as a hot young piece with nefarious motives are particularly potent. “Ain’t Fucking Grand?” is sung in a perky Andrews Sisters–style harmony, and the battle duet “Dick-to-Dick Time” reveals some ludicrous and heretofore unheard-of synonyms for the male anatomy. Amid the ridiculous wordplay and crudity of Bellinger’s lyrics and the obvious (and numerous) dick jokes, the show produces a taste of sweetness, and we actually grow fond of these ladies—blue hair, blue language and all.
