They wuz robbed: Our (affectionate) rebuttal to this year's Non-Equity Jeff nominations

Ah, the wonders of Chicago spring: schizophrenic temperatures that can ruin any otherwise lovely event, Cubs fans getting back into therapy and the much-anticipated non-Equity Joseph Jefferson nominations. Named for 19th-century actor Jefferson, who spent much of his career playing the titular character in productions of Rip Van Winkle, the Jeff noms' announcement inevitably brings as much whiplash-inducing, “What were they thinking?” shock value for the talented non-nominees and observers as they do joy to those whose work was honored. This year we consider what they were thinking, and even try to imagine it, in an attempt to figure out what makes the ever-elusive Jeff committee tick.

Here are our attempted-mind-reading guesses for why some of Chicago’s finest got snubbed this year. Again. (The complete list of nominees follows.)

David Cromer sprang from Zeus’s head fully formed. How else could Cromer’s Our Town, which was greeted with such orgasmic, near-High School Musical-level enthusiasm, have only garnered nominations for Best Production and Best Director? Surely his much-lauded ensemble of actors, the revelatory street costumes of Alison Siple, the haunting, honey-hued lighting by Heather Gilbert and Jonathan Mastro’s smashing piano score had nothing to do with this production’s success, thus explaining how they all got le shaft. (On the other hand, it could just be that the cast included Stacy Stoltz, the Susan Lucci of the North Side.)

Eh, it was no Christmas Schooner. It may have been perched on Lake Michigan, but Dog & Pony’s As Told By the Vivian Girls, the wildly ambitious and expansive environmental theater piece that brought the panels of Henry Darger to life, could never compete with the no-really-this-is-the-last-time-we’re-bringing-it-back-ever-and-we-really-mean-it-this-time sentimental chestnut about a botched sailing mission that failed to bring Christmas trees over Lake Michigan. Vivian Girls, a design extravaganza that will probably be imitated in years to come, wasn’t even Jeff recommended; as multiple committee members declined to walk through the entire choose-your-own-adventure show, they mostly stayed in the lobby, where a single scene took place. The Christmas Schooner, incidentally, which received its 13th Bailiwick production this year, earned five nominations.

Dog & Pony? Aren’t those the kids who did that weird Henry Darger play? If you’ve been hearing about Krissy Vanderwarker’s staging of Jenny Schwartz’s lyric-based family drama God’s Ear over at the Viaduct, it might be because it’s produced by Dog & Pony, that suspicious troupe of upstarts behind As Told By the Vivian Girls, the show that everybody but the Jeff committee has been talking about. D&P has had a good year, which will hopefully make up for the shunned performances of Faith Noelle Hurley and Luke Hatton as a zombie-like suburban couple with a dead kid, Gina D’Ercoli as a flaky adulteress, and non-nominated, dead-sexy set and lights by Grant Sabin and Aaron Weissman, respectively. (Consolation prize: Sound designer Stephen Ptacek, whose baroque, pan-pop music scape was the most impressive of Vivian Girls’s many design elements, managed to bag the only nom for God’s Ear.)

British plays about people’s feelings are for New Yorkers. Only one nod for Griffin Theatre’s On the Shore of the Wide World (the lovely, deserving supporting performance of Elise Kauzlaric) means that Jonathan Berry’s self-effacing direction of Simon Stephens’s unsentimental look at a broken family must not have done the trick for JoJeff. Too bad, as this elegant ensemble included the likes of Paul D’Addario, Karyn Morris and Brian Deneen, among others. (Back-up theory: Marianna Czaszar’s gorgeous set, which demolished the largest stage in the Theatre Building and built a handsome junk heap on top of it, disoriented Jeff voters who forgot where they were and what they were watching.)

Frigid, sexless disillusionment reminds us too much of the Bush years. Looks like Marsha Harman and Sean Patrick Fawcett, the miserable married couple in Jessica Hutchinson's lovely little production of Six Years at New Leaf Theatre, picked the wrong season to portray aching ennui so accurately.

Rich people foolishly losing their property at their own folly reminds us too much of the Obama recession. Looks like the fine cast and design team behind Kimberly Senior’s Cherry Orchard at Strawdog Theatre—we’re looking at you, scenic designer Anders Jacobson—picked the wrong season to portray aching ennui so accurately.

Get off our backs. The Neo-Futurists didn’t even invite us to that show. And it’s too bad. If the Neos had extended the olive branch to the Jeff committee, they might well have had a blast at Fake Lake, Sharon Greene’s trippy-dippy summer-vacation-essay-as-environmental-theater piece. Not only did they miss out on the hoot of watching a play performed in an actual swimming pool, they got gypped out of hearing the boss score and superior sound design of Mikhail Fiksel. Alas. Nobody into the pool.

2009 NON-EQUITY JEFF AWARD NOMINEES

PRODUCTION - PLAY
"Enchanted April" - Circle Theatre
"In Arabia We'd All Be Kings" - Steep Theatre Company
"Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
"The Mark of Zorro" - Lifeline Theatre
"Our Town" - The Hypocrites
"Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago

PRODUCTION - MUSICAL OR REVUE
"The Christmas Schooner" - Bailiwick Repertory Theatre
"Evita" -  Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
"Jacques Brel's Lonesome Losers of the Night" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
"The Robber Bridegroom" - Griffin Theatre Company
"Woody Guthrie's American Song" - Blindfaith Theatre

DIRECTOR - PLAY
Nathan Allen - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago
David Cromer - "Our Town" - The Hypocrites
Elise Kauzlaric - "Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
Joanie Schultz - "In Arabia We'd All Be Kings" - Steep Theatre Company
Rick Snyder - "Men of Tortuga" - Profiles Theatre

DIRECTOR - MUSICAL OR REVUE
Fred Anzevino - "Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Fred Anzevino - "Jacques Brel's Lonesome Losers of the Night" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w
Michael James
Mary Beidler Gearen - "The Christmas Schooner" - Bailiwick Repertory Theatre
Paul S. Holmquist - "The Robber Bridegroom" - Griffin Theatre Company
Nicolas Minas - "Woody Guthrie's American Song" - Blindfaith Theatre

ENSEMBLE
"Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
"In Arabia We'd All Be Kings" - Steep Theatre Company
"Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
"Men of Tortuga" - Profiles Theatre
"Our Bad Magnet" - Mary-Arrchie Theatre Company
"Woody Guthrie's American Song" - Blindfaith Theatre

ACTOR IN A PRINCIPAL ROLE - PLAY
Don Bender - "Old Times" - City Lit Theater Company
Esteban Andres Cruz - "Jesus Hopped the 'A' Train" - Raven Theatre
James Elly - "The Mark of Zorro" - Lifeline Theatre
Ryan Jarosch - "Torch Song Trilogy" - Hubris Productions
Brian Parry - "Shadowlands" - Redtwist Theatre
Brian Plocharczyk - "After Ashley" - Stage Left Theatre
Bradford Stevens - "Jesus Hopped the 'A' Train" - Raven Theatre

ACTOR IN A PRINCIPAL ROLE - MUSICAL
Courtney Crouse - "Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical" - Bohemian Theatre Ensemble
Chris Damiano - "Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James

ACTRESS IN A PRINCIPAL ROLE - PLAY
Brenda Barrie - "Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
Laura Coover - "Blue Surge" - Eclipse Theatre Company
Cameron Feagin - "Private Lives" - City Lit Theater Company
Nancy Freidrich - "The Dastardly Ficus and Other Comedic Tales of Woe and Misery" - The Strange Tree Group
Betsy Zajko - "Beholder" - Trap Door Theatre

ACTRESS IN A PRINCIPAL ROLE - MUSICAL
Laura McClain - "The Christmas Schooner" - Bailiwick Repertory Theatre
Maggie Portman - "Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Rachel Quinn - "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" - Circle Theatre
Bethany Thomas - "Belle Barth: If I Embarrass You Tell Your Friends" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James

SOLO PERFORMANCE
Janet Ulrich Brooks - "Golda's Balcony" - Pegasus Players
Alice Wedoff - "The Shape of a Girl" - Pegasus Players

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE - PLAY
Paul S. Holmquist - "The Picture of Dorian Gray" - Lifeline Theatre
Matthew     Sherbach - "The Further Adventures of Hedda Gabler" - Dog & Pony Theatre Company
Kevin V. Smith - "Our Bad Magnet" - Mary-Arrchie Theatre Company
Madrid St. Angelo - "A Passage to India" - Premiere Theatre & Performance i/a/w Vitalist Theatre
Jon Steinhagen - "Plaza Suite" - Eclipse Theatre Company
Nathaniel Swift - "Blue Surge" - Eclipse Theatre Company

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE - MUSICAL
Chris Damiano - "Jacques Brel's Lonesome Losers of the Night" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Chris Froseth - "Woody Guthrie's American Song" - Blindfaith Theatre
Jim Sherman - "The Christmas Schooner" - Bailiwick Repertory Theatre

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE - PLAY
Susan Veronika Adler - "Torch Song Trilogy" - Hubris Productions
Jeannette Blackwell - "The Further Adventures of Hedda Gabler" - Dog & Pony Theatre Company
Nora Fiffer - "The Autumn Garden" - Eclipse Theatre Company
Mary Hollis Inboden - "Torch Song Trilogy" - Hubris Productions
Elise Kauzlaric - "On the Shore of the Wide World" - Griffin Theatre Company
Lily Mojekwu - "Greensboro: A Requiem" - Steep Theatre Company
Rinska Prestinary - "In Arabia We'd All Be Kings" - Steep Theatre Company
Mary Redmon - "Enchanted April" - Circle Theatre

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE - MUSICAL OR REVUE
Amanda Hartley - "The Robber Bridegroom" - Griffin Theatre Company

NEW WORK
Tony Fiorentino - "All My Love" - Diamante Productions
Robert Koon - "Odin's Horse" - Infamous Commonwealth Theatre
Frank Maugeri & Seth Bockley - "Boneyard Prayer" - Redmoon Theater
Andrew Park - "The People's History of the United States" - Quest Theatre Ensemble
Ken Prestininzi - "Beholder" - Trap Door Theatre

NEW ADAPTATION
Fred Anzevino, Arnold Johnston & Joshua Stephen Kartes - "Jacques Brel's Lonesome Losers of the
Night" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Cristina Calvit - "Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
Robert Kauzlaric - "The Picture of Dorian Gray" - Lifeline Theatre
William Massolia - "Be More Chill" - Griffin Theatre Company
Terry McCabe - "Scoundrel Time" - City Lit Theater  Company
Katie McLean - "The Mark of Zorro" - Lifeline Theatre

CHOREOGRAPHY
Kevin Bellie - "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" - Circle Theatre
Brenda Didier - "Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Tommy Rapley - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago

ORIGINAL INCIDENTAL MUSIC
Lara Golan - "Dr. Egg and the Man with No Ear" - Redmoon Theater
Charles Kim & Seth Bockley - "Boneyard Prayer" - Redmoon Theater
Kevin O'Donnell - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago

MUSIC DIRECTION
Ryan Brewster - "Evita" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Mark Elliott - "The Robber Bridegroom" - Griffin Theatre Company
Joshua Stephen Kartes - "Jacques Brel's Lonesome Losers of the Night" - Theo Ubique Theatre Company i/a/w Michael James
Jeremy Ramey - "The Christmas Schooner" - Bailiwick Repertory Theatre
Shaun Whitley - "Woody Guthrie's American Song" - Blindfaith Theatre

SCENIC DESIGN
Alan Donahue - "Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
Anders Jacobson - "Red Angel" - LiveWire Chicago Theatre
Bob Knuth - "Enchanted April" - Circle Theatre
Bob Knuth - "Hay Fever" - Circle Theatre
Richard & Jacqueline Penrod - "The Shape of a Girl" - Pegasus Players
Emily Schwartz & Kate Nawrocki - "The Dastardly Ficus and Other Comedic Tales of Woe and Misery" - The Strange Tree Group

LIGHTING DESIGN
John Horan - "Dr. Egg and the Man with No Ear" - Redmoon Theater
Denise Karczewski - "Golda's Balcony" - Pegasus Players
Lee Keenan - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago
Jared B. Moore - "Touch" - New Leaf Theatre

COSTUME DESIGN
Debbie Baer - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago
Michelle Julazadeh - "Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical" - Bohemian Theatre Ensemble
Suzanne Mann - "Hay Fever" - Circle Theatre
Suzanne Mann - "Enchanted April" - Circle Theatre
John Nasca - "Die! Mommie Die!" - Hell in a Handbag Productions
Jesus Perez - "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" - Circle Theatre

SOUND DESIGN
Victoria DeIorio - "The Mark of Zorro" - Lifeline Theatre
Mikhail Fiksel - "Winter Pageant Redux" - Redmoon Theater
Tim Hill - "Mariette in Ecstasy" - Lifeline Theatre
Joshua Horvath - "Rose and the Rime" - The House Theatre of Chicago
Nick Keenan - "Touch" - New Leaf Theatre
Stephen Ptacek - "God's Ear" - Dog & Pony Theatre Company

ARTISTIC SPECIALIZATION
Mask Design - Amanda Church - "The People's History of the United States" - Quest Theatre Ensemble
Animation - Jamie Clennett - "Dr. Egg and the Man with No Ear" - Redmoon Theater
Fight Choreography - Geoff Coates    - "The Mark of Zorro" - Lifeline Theatre
Puppets - Graeme Davis - "Dr. Egg and the Man with No Ear" - Redmoon Theater
Puppets - Jesse Mooney-Bullock - "Boneyard Prayer" - Redmoon Theater