Lollapalooza scavenger hunt

Lollapalooza is this weekend. Perhaps you've heard?

Whether you're looking for the full Lollapalooza schedule and can't-miss acts, breakdowns of some of the lesser-known bands, the best gear for surviving the day, after-parties, tips on sneaking up to the front of the stage or schedules for Lollapalooza based on your musical tastes, rendered as a hilarious Family Circus drawing, we've got you covered.

Just as we did for Pitchfork, we'll be blogging all weekend here on the TOC blog, and sending out live updates to our Twitter stream about what we're seeing, who's great, who's not, and any late-breaking rumors we hear. Also, send us your amusing pictures, overheards, and random texts to lollatoc at timeoutchicago.com. We'll post them to our Tumblr blog at timeoutchicago.tumblr.com.

Speaking of amusing pictures, you might remember a checklist we published in the magazine of the kinds of sights you might see at your average hipster fest. Granted, the audience for Lolla is much different. So we decided to create a new list, full of the typical sights you'd see at any music festival. Use this to track all the Lolla weirdness this weekend, and feel free to add your own suggestions in comments:

* Galoshes with a skirt or shorts (but no rain)
* Singer asks for "more vocals in the monitor, please"
* Man-bolero
* Kanye specs
* Off-center rat tail
* Snidely Whiplash–like mustache
* Someone who claims "I love this band" minutes after saying "Who is this?"
* No hair on a head, but a giant neck beard
* Someone leaving the beer vendors with more than four beers at once
* Confrontational, flaunted female armpit hair
* Naked child
* Baby dressed in ironic T-shirt (“DRUG MULE”) it cannot possibly understand
* Someone passed-out-drunk by 2pm
* Band member mentions an election (Bonus: They say it's "the most important of our lifetime"
* Kids stage performer swears
* Stroller covered with metal-band stickers
* Idiots raising their cell phones in the dark in place of lighters
* Cast member from a reality show
* White dude in a dashiki
* Twentysomething wearing an old t-shirt of a band popular before they were born
* "Bad naked"
* Bored music critic texting from the side of the stage
* Someone onstage painting or creating some other form of inaudible art
* Open weed smoking
* Hacky sack game taking over half a field
* People drinking from an enormous bottle of liquor, smuggled in mysteriously
* A shirtless dude with a concave belly
* Hitter box(es)
* Clove-smoking teen (hasn't yet graduated to Marlboros)
* Leis
* Blogger on a laptop
* Someone in a floor-length coat even though it's a million degrees
* Massive headphones on a baby
* One person dancing. Alone.
* The names of five major corporations within eyesight
* People eating old-school, carnival-style, lollipops
* Facial hair on band member that is more complex than music
* Someone with a "Free hugs" sign
* "New navajos" -- white people dressed like stereotypical native americans (i.e. feather in hair, mocassins, etc)
* Couples dressed exactly the same
* People in the VIP section not watching any of the music
* Girls in booty shorts that only cover half their booty so they look like they're trying out for the next American Apparel ad
* Face tattoos (of a face, on face, or of a face on face)
* Captain Lou Albano lookalike
* Pale girl in victorian garb with parasol (does not count if this is Amanda from Dresden Dolls)
* Plastic bling
* Re-usable canvas man-bags any kind of bag that is covered with 1-inch buttons advertising one's taste
* Hipster in a fanny pack
* Converse high-tops on Dads holding onto their youth