Where's weirdo?

If the Pitchfork stage act offers little more than a dude leaning over a laptop, people-watching quickly becomes the pastime of choice. No other event pulls together the garish, the embarrassing, the trendy, the beautiful and the bizarre quite like Pitchfork. So as HEALTH screams in unison or when !!! gives you that napping feeling, tear out this list and get hunting. This is why your cell phone has a camera.

Apparel

• Winter gear under the scorching sun
• Galoshes with a skirt or shorts (no rain)
• Fanny pack
• Kaffiyeh
• Bow tie against a bare neck
• Wrestling singlet
• Homemade T-shirt advertising a blog URL
• Vintage tennis-clothing ensemble, complete with wooden racquet
• Underoos
• Man-bolero
• Couple dressed exactly the same
• Wings, of any kind, on a person

Grooming

• Off-center rat tail
• Snidely Whiplash–like mustache
• No hair on a head, but a giant neck beard
• Confrontational, flaunted female armpit hair

Children

• Naked child
• Baby dressed in ironic T-shirt (“DRUG MULE”) it cannot possibly understand
• Stroller covered with metal-band stickers
• Infant in Kanye West shutter shades
• Toddler dancing to Fuck Buttons

Onstage and backstage

• Cast member from SNL
• Band member in a Native American headdress
• Singer screaming into a Playskool microphone
• White dude in a dashiki
• Bored music critic texting from the side of the stage
• Someone onstage painting or creating some other form of inaudible art

Behavior

• Token gray-haired old dude banging his head (J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr. excluded)
• Girl sitting in the dirt, knitting
• Pick-up game of four-square
• Someone listening to headphones while a band is playing
• Open weed smoking
• Someone smoking a Sherlock Holmes pipe
• A bookworm reading, with two to three more tomes in waiting
• People drinking from an enormous bottle of liquor, smuggled in mysteriously
• Freegan digging through the trash for a meal
• Anyone “cranking dat Soulja Boy”

Good luck!

• McCain ’08 T-shirt and/or ephemera
• Coldplay merchandise
• A Bible (Arcade Fire’s Neon Bible excluded)
• Giant foam finger reading FUCK BUTTONS ARE #1

Send your photos, overheards or random texts from Pitchfork to p4ktoc@timeoutchicago.com. We’ll post them to the TOC Tumblr blog at timeoutchicago.tumblr.com. And check out the TOC blog at timeoutchicago.com/blog for our reviews and photos all weekend long.