Project LUSH: Week 2

Editor's note: At Time Out Chicago we love a good challenge, especially when it involves booze. Having already chipped away at Kit Kat’s enormous drink menu over the years, we thought it our duty to officially taste test their 100+ martini list and bring it to the public. It’s a hard job, but somebody has to do it.

Perhaps it was the thought of our massive hangovers from last week's tasting still fresh in our minds, but the three of us had a little trepidation about letting the great floodgates of booze open again this week. Returning to Kit Kat, we feared that worries over drunken tomfoolery would taint our evening of martini sampling. Could it be that our years of Boystown bar hopping had failed us? Not quite.

When our guest for the night, TOC senior marketing manager Tuck Shepard, pointed out that we were all little dull this week, we realized that we had lost sight of the task at hand. Surrounded by a sea of vodka martinis, we couldn’t help but think of one gay TV favorite of yesteryear, Karen Walker from Will & Grace. Yes, we realize she is like so four years ago, but this pill-popping, hair piece wearing diva would never let fear stand in the way of a good night out with martinis and ‘mos. Recalling Ms. Walker and her boozy persona, we reminded ourselves of our duty to all homos out there to drink and have fun, hangovers be damned. With our courage and sense of duty rightfully restored, we took to these next 15 martinis like Karen would to an open bar, delighted and determined.

Drink 16: Pickled Martini (vodka, clamato, pickle juice, celery salt)
Mark was very excited when he discovered that his favorite drink from Kit Kat would be served up, and Jason and I can see why.  This Bloody Mary-ish drink is an excellent combination of salt and spice. A perfect way to mix up the saccharine overload one can get from too many of the other, sweeter martinis. Our only negative comment: where’s the fancy garnishes?

Drink 17: Almond Joy (coconut rum, chocolate liqueur, cream)
Not quite the “win” Mark and I were expecting, considering Kit Kat has the uncanny ability to turn any child’s favorite candy into an adult treat. Jason, on the other hand, went nutty over its smooth taste, coconut rim, and chocolate goodness.

Drink 18: Amsterdam Cherry (vodka, cherry liqueur, chocolate liqueur, cream)
I was quite disappointed when I found out this drink didn’t have offer any "high times" (come one, it’s from Amsterdam), but I don’t think even that would have helped out this clunker. While all three of us admit that it was visually gorgeous with its intense pink color, Jason wasn’t pleased with the aftertaste and it reminded Mark of cough syrup.

Drink 19: Angel Martini (vodka, hazelnut liqueur, cinnamon)
With a white feather sticking through a maraschino cherry on the rim, this is the gayest drink we have ever seen, and in a good way.  The presentation on this thing, with the cinnamon rim and aforementioned accourtrements, makes it deserving of a pass on a Victoria’s Secret Runway. Having said that, like a model, not much is going on with this drink beyond appearances. While Mark thought it was heavenly and reminiscent of a cake shot, Jason and I were confused and thought it just tasted like vodka.

A little underwhelmed by our last couple of drinks we decided to check out some our surroundings. While the old Hollywood glamor and streamlined design of Kit Kat definitely caught out attention, it was the tall drink of water waiter that really caught our eye. If it weren’t for the allure of a banana cream pie martini waiting for us we might have invited him, and some others on the staff, for tequila shots at the bar and a night of dancing.

Drink 20: Banana Cream Pie (vodka, banana liqueur, vanilla, cream, graham cracker crust)
Mark and I enjoyed the great banana smell of this drink, its graham cracker crust, and the runt candy-like taste, but Jason was a little worried about the potential for artificial banana flavor. Unfortunately, his fears were confirmed. This martini doesn’t quite have the flavor of a pie, but excellent for banana and candy lovers.

Drink 21: Banana Split (vodka, chocolate liqueur, banana liqueur, vanilla)
The mixologists at Kit Kat most know that the gays love their bananas.  Our second banana-inspired drink definitely trumped the cream pie. All three of us agreed that the combination of chocolate liqueur, banana liqueur, and vanilla make this martini a great adult twist on a childhood summer fave. Maybe too sweet to have more than one, but definitely worth a try.

Drink 22: Berry Manilow (vodka, crème de cassis, splash of lime)
Though we are all fans of anything fruity (hello!), this drink didn’t really hit the mark. While I actually liked the final flavor one gets from this libation, we all noted that it was strangely reminiscent of a pepperoni pizza. Crème de cassis is an excellent addition to a cocktail, but we just wanted to toss this one aside and listen to the real Manilow.

Drink 23: Big Apple Martini (vodka, triple sec, apple liqueur)
Jason and I loved the perfect balance of sweet and sour in this martini.  Though this drink is so five years ago, as Mark duly noted, Kit Kat’s expert blending makes it worth having. Plus, the fresh green apple garnish serves as a perfect snack and adds beautiful color.

Drink 24: Black and White Martini (vodka, dark chocolate liqueur, vanilla)
Even before trying this one we were all very titillated by the fact there was a Hershey’s chocolate kiss at the bottom of the glass. While Mark and I really enjoyed the chocolate flavor of the martini, Jason thought it needed some cream (and don’t we all).

Drink 25: Black Widow (vodka, black zambuca)
Our bartender warned us that this one would knock us on our ass, and he wasn’t kidding. This baby was flaming and not in a gay way; the vodka and Sambuca combo literally burned going down. While Jason and Mark definitely shied away from this drink, I always love a challenge of a cocktail that is supposed to knock me out. Definitely for thrill seekers and black licorice lovers.

After the bite from that Black Widow, we definitely needed a nosh. We sampled some of Kit Kat’s excellent and flavorful truffle fries as well as their great twist on macaroni and cheese. Perfect eats to recover from a drink that can make you feel like you just went on a binger.

Drink 26: Bloody Martini (vodka, clamato, spices)
Another solid Bloody Mary concoction, perfect for lamenting over last night’s tryst and your hangover in the morning. We all loved the spice and the tomato flavor. A perfect alternative to the Pickled Martini (but really, who doesn’t love a big pickle?).

Drink 27: Blue Hawaiian (light run, blue curaçao, pineapple juice, coconut cream)
We were swept away (just like Madonna!) to a tropical island with the flavors (not to mention the tiny umbrella garnish) of this martini. The light rum, coconut cream, and pineapple juice reminded us of a piña colada, while the curaçao added a brilliant color. Now all we needed was a cute cabana boy to fan us as we sipped this tropical delight.

Drink 28: Blue Moon (vodka, blue curaçao, melon liqueur)
I’m usually not a fan of sweet drinks, but I was a huge fan of this sugary creation. I thought the melon liqueur and sugar rim worked nicely together, but Jason and Mark thought this was a saccharine disaster and a diabetic’s nightmare.

Drink 29: Blue Topaz (coconut rum, island passion and apple liqueurs, lime and lemon juices)
One would think we would have been a little blue after having all these curaçao and island passion liqueur-infused drinks, but thankfully they hit the spot. Jason thought this one was quite fragrant but wasn’t really feeling its sweet taste. Mark and I, on the other hand, were reminded of the fun of a frat party, complete with sexually confused boys.

Drink 30: Boca (vodka, coffee liqueur)
Fans of coffee beware: you may start drinking these before work instead of your normal Starbucks (see if you can remember your boss’s name after a few). Though a very simple recipe, Mark and I thought the mixture was perfect and definitely gave off more of a coffee than vodka taste. Jason, however, was not impressed. He’ll be sticking to his normal cup of Joe.

With another 15 martinis under our belt it looked like we had found the perfect formula of sipping to not stumble out of Kit Kat and were well on our way to complete our task. Although, if those waiters had been free, we probably would have stayed and tried quite a few more.

Missed our first round of reviews? Check 'em out here.