When men fake orgasms
Given my history of anorgasmia, I sometimes have trouble empathizing with men about social pressures around orgasm. Lately though, I've been reading more and more about it, and it's impossible to deny that there are real issues there. Here's a new post from Figleaf on the topic:
I've said for years I think the problem of men and anorgasmia is one of those major stealth issues. Not every man can get away with faking orgasms every time but the expectations are so high (for both men and their partners) that if for some reason you can't or otherwise don't come easily you're not going to disclose it readily.
He cites the Journal of Psychology:
Research shows that many women pretend or fake orgasm, but little is known about whether men pretend orgasm. The purpose of this study was to investigate (a) whether, how, and why men pretend orgasm and (b) what men's and women's reports of pretending orgasm reveal about their sexual scripts and the functions of orgasms within these scripts. Participants were 180 male and 101 female college students; 85% of the men and 68% of the women had experienced penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI). Participants completed a qualitative questionnaire anonymously. Both men (25%) and women (50%) reported pretending orgasm (28% and 67%, respectively, for PVI-experienced participants). Most pretended during PVI, but some pretended during oral sex, manual stimulation, and phone sex. Frequently reported reasons were that orgasm was unlikely, they wanted sex to end, and they wanted to avoid negative consequences (e.g., hurting their partner's feelings) and to obtain positive consequences (e.g., pleasing their partner). Results suggest a sexual script in which women should orgasm before men, and men are responsible for women's orgasms.
Relevant posts on my personal blog:
* Guilt, failure and a pre-orgasmic feminist
* There It Is



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