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Raze the roof
Tearing down an architecturally significant church is an excellent way to make room for more condos!
Finally, a house of God can be a house of you.
Thanks to the hard work of the folks at UnRealty—and a pretty little loophole in the Chicago landmarks ordinance—the Holy Trinity Orthodox Cathedral (1121 N Leavitt St) in Ukrainian Village will soon be converted into condominiums.
The plan, which could still face opposition from annoying historical landmark activists and the rest of the known universe, would allow young professionals to stake their claim in the neighborhood.
“We felt that it was selfish of the city to designate as a ‘landmark’ a building that’s used only once a week,” says UnRealty agent Jack Armstrong. “Now a family of three can enjoy it every day of the week. Except for weekends, when they’ll probably be in their Wisconsin vacation homes.”
Famed architect Louis H. Sullivan designed the building, which went up in 1903. The cathedral was intended to mirror the Russian churches familiar to immigrants in the neighborhood, and an attached rectory—which will serve as a multicar garage and a state-of-the-art workout facility—elegantly slopes down from the church, continuing in a fine curve of stucco and brick. Armstrong says he wants to preserve as much of the church’s heritage as possible.
“We’re going to be very respectful of the building; we want to honor it,” he says. “All we’re doing is stripping the facade and replacing it with a wall of four-inch-thick glass supported by giant criss-crossing steel beams, and placing a hand-molded, steel tiger on the front stoop. Minor details.”
While Russian Tsar Nicholas II partially financed the original structure, the new and improved “Unorthodox Condodral” will sell for $1.5 million per unit, with construction to begin on deposit. The blueprints we saw in UnRealty’s River North loft space required an almost complete overhaul of the cathedral’s famed ornate interior. But Armstrong has plans for gorgeous—yet subtle—touches that will pay homage to the history of the neighborhood.
“The rooftop porch will have a whirlpool and be covered by a thatch roof, recalling the original Russian bell tower,” Armstrong says. “It will be very tasteful.”
Is this some kind of joke? Yes, actually. The above was part of TOC's 2008 April Fool's issue. Read more about it here.
