Sexo y violencia!

Imagine Hulk Hogan and the Rock going at it in a three-ring circus, decked out like glam-rock–style S&M executioners; mix in a Fellini-esque procession of dancing showgirls, flying dwarves and transgendered contenders; and wash it down with a tumbler of mescal spiked with peyote buttons—and you'll have some idea of the surreal, pimped-out, sequin-studded insanity that is Lucha VaVOOM.

Leaping off the ropes into the Congress Theater on Cinco de Mayo, Lucha VaVOOM is an L.A.-based traveling spectacle that last visited Chicago in November. It showcases the bizarre world of lucha libre (free fight): professional Mexican wrestling that blends circus acrobatics, carnival theatrics and stylized hyperviolence in performances by good-versus-evil stock characters. But Lucha VaVOOM spins lucha libre on its head: Appearances by Mexican wrestling stars are complemented by saucy burlesque dancers, lounge-lizard Mexican tuneage from the '50s and '60s, and comic commentary by emcees Blaine Capatch (host of Comedy Central's Beat the Geeks) and Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Lucha VaVOOM takes a cue from the lucha libre films of 1960s and '70s Mexican cinema, which fused action, horror and sci-fi in offbeat tales pitting wrestling legends against all manner of monsters and mad scientists. At some point, the costumed grappler invariably finds a reason to pop into a go-go bar—hence Lucha VaVOOM's burlesque beauties.

"No one has ever lost money on sex and violence," says one of the show's producers, Rita D'Albert, who also dances as "Ursulina." An alum of L.A.'s Velvet Hammer Burlesque, along with fellow (former) producer Michelle Carr and dancer "Ming Dynatease," D'Albert helped launch Lucha VaVOOM after the show's third producer, Liz Fairburn, turned her burlesque pals on to Mexican wrestling shows in Tijuana.

"Our base audience is hipsters, for lack of a better word," D'Albert says, "and then it moves into assimilated Hispanic people—those who grew up watching lucha libre but didn't know it was hip again. They would never go to a straight-up lucha libre show, because you would see a lot of families. So our show is more risque, and more drinking is encouraged. The wrestling is certainly top-notch, but by and large it's [for] people that just want the psychedelic experience."

The sequence is simple—wrestling bouts alternate with burlesque routines—but who among los luchadores (los technicos=good guys; los rudos=bad guys; minis=um, little people) are you putting your hard-earned dinero on? We took a flying kick at describing some of the more extreme characters you'll encounter at Lucha VaVOOM's round two in Chicago. Construct cheering signs accordingly.

Psicosis
Like most things from Tijuana,Psicosis is not to be fucked with. His training at the feet of Rey Misterio Sr. has netted him many titles, and his skill has attracted the attention of the WCW as well as the WWE, with whom he recently signed. This Cinco de Mayo battle may be his last appearance with Lucha VaVOOM before he makes the leap to the big time. His lethal "Top Rope Guillotine Leg Drop" is as alarming as a Tijuana donkey show.

Mascarita Sagrada
Dr. Evil's Mini Me has nada on this guy. At only four feet, three inches tall and 95 pounds, Mascarita Sagrada might appear to make a handy punching bag for the big guys, but appearances are deceiving: Employed as a human missile, this snarling wolverine of a wrestler isn't someone with whom you want to play catch.

Casandro
He (or is it she?) is the most enigmatic wrestler in the Lucha VaVOOM show—and that's saying something in this motley crew. One of the more flamboyant exoticos, he's tough as nails, although those nails may come in Fiesta Fuschia. Girded by his smart fashion sense, he is "as beautiful as he is deadly," the promoters warn. Embarrassment is one of the many weapons in his toolbox, as he puckers up to his enemies to mortify the homophobes among them. His billing puts it best: "Noses, hearts—he breaks them all."

Tsuki
He's one of the few lethal little people in lucha libre who's earned enough respect to win applause and fan letters as a full-scale, legit star. His wrestling prowess and indomitable attitude never let him down as he takes on enemies of all sizes and shapes. Nearly all, duped into defeat by overconfidence, walk away embarrassed and ridiculed. Tsuki fights on the side of good, and his popularity as un technico is only matched by his acrobatic skill.

A FINAL WARNING
By-the-rules spectators, beware: The refs can be bought off. Evil can overcome the powers of good simply by switching masks. SpongeBob SquarePants will be in the house. You will see a stripper perform on a pogo stick. Pinatas will hang from unexpected locations. And nearly anything can happen with enough tequila.Lucha VaVOOM plays the Congress Theater on May 5 at 8pm. Tickets cost $20–$40.

Visit www.luchavavoom.com.