Midnight snacks

Lao Sze Chuan, serving till midnight.

Rockit Bar & Grill

Crüe-video servers deliver high-end grub in River North.
Rockit isn’t what you’d call subtle: Between the blaring rock, the barbed wire–and–Old English signage and the straight-out-of-a-Mötley Crüe-video waitresses, the place is set on shoving its devil horns in your face.
What to order Chef James Gottwald serves tasty fare like the Rockit burger and fries drenched in finger-lickin’–good truffle oil. The fried shrimp didn’t reinvent the wheel, but the sweet-potato fries were pretty damn tasty.
Serving till Sun–Fri 1:30am, Sat 2:30am; outdoor seating closes at 11pm.
Keep your buzz or slow down? Don’t even think about slowing down, bro.Hairy-eyeball factor (are they pissed if you arrive near closing time?) Minimal. We showed up around 12:30am on a Tuesday and were seated with a smile, but our server told us dessert wasn’t on the late-night menu. Which is a blatant lie.
Morning-after regrets Order any dish with the word rock in it, and your hangover will thank you.
The crowd Not too bad. The loud-ass music, though, is another story.Chances of a last-ditch hookup Practically guaranteed. When you’re done eating, strut upstairs to the pool tables and work your inner Tommy Lee (or Pam A).
Getting there El: Red to Grand. Bus: 65 Grand. We scored rock-star parking, but if you’re boozing, there are cabs aplenty in this neck of the woods. 22 W Hubbard St (312-645-6000). Average entrée: $17.
—Lauren Viera

Lao Sze Chuan

Food, not décor, makes this Chinatown spot worth a trip.
The Bible-length menu at this Chinatown spot might be a challenge, but it’s worth the effort. As for the setting, well…you’re not here for the ambiance. The décor is nothing to speak of, what with the yellowed formica and TV in the corner and such. But that makes the food that much more delish when it arrives.
What to order The Chef’s Special Dry Chili Chicken is a flavorful mess of crispy chicken bits and chilies that’s perfect with beer. The lightly pickled and heavily spiced cabbage that comes to your table first is so good, you’ll find yourself sneaking nibble after painful nibble. And the home-style bean curd features tofu perfectly fried into chewy, belly-filling rectangles and swimming in flavorful sauce.
Serving till midnight.
Keep your buzz or slow down? With just a few beers and wines offered, this place isn’t designed for pounding.
Hairy-eyeball factor We strolled in 15 minutes before closing, no prob. Morning-after regrets You’d be hard-pressed to find light stuff here, but you’d also be missing out on what they do best. Get something that’s dripping in chili oil.
The crowd Older Asian gents and bleary-eyed foodies.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup Not a chance—everyone keeps to themselves.
Getting there El: Red to Cermak/Chinatown. But the neighborhood can get dodgy. Last time, a panhandler trailed us to the El and followed us up the escalator. Call a taxi ahead of time, and say you’re going somewhere like Lakeview, so they’ll actually show up. 2172 S Archer Ave (312-326-5040). Average entrée: $10.
—Ruth Welte

Chopal

This Devon restaurant is dry, but the lamb kebabs aren’t.
Your beer goggles have bamboozled you in the past, so take your potential hookup to a place where you can sober up a bit—just to make sure you haven’t bagged a mouth breather. To the rescue comes buzzkilling, cock-blocking Indo-Pak restaurant Chopal. It’s wart-revealingly bright, booze isn’t served, and the ornate wooden tables are so long that groping is physically impossible.
What to order We loved the flavorful lamb kebabs and the spicy chicken quomo, the garlic-packed yellow lentils and the tender goat chops.
Serving till midnight.
Keep your buzz or slow down? You can’t even bring booze here; the owners are devout Muslims.
Hairy-eyeball factor We strolled in at 11:30pm—and a huge family walked in at 11:50pm—and got no stink eye.
Morning-after regrets This food is damn tasty, but heavy. Go easy on the lamb.
The crowd Other than our own obnoxious, drunken giggling, no annoyances.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup No way. Unless you count the poor soul you brought with you (see above).
Getting there Bus: 49 Western (24 hrs), 155 Devon. There’s parking in back, but you’re not driving, right, Mel Gibson? 2240–42 W Devon Ave (773-338-4080). Average entrée: $7.
—Laura Baginski

ñ

Don’t miss Latin-influenced eats and beats in Avondale.
We love this candlelit hot spot for its chic international vibe, its location far from the overrun yuppie centers, and its DJs, who spin downtempo house and jazzy Latin beats.

For eats, head to the quieter, group-friendly backroom, which is usually off-limits until the dining tables in the bar area fill up. While ñ supposedly serves until 1am most nights, our waitress said it’s more like 12:30am.
What to order The filet mignon is tender and huge, but the fried meat appetizer is probably off-limits for all but the iron stomached. The empanadas—filled with spinach, ham and cheese, chicken or beef—are fresh, flaky and delicious.
Serving till 1am; outdoor seating closes at 11pm
Keep your buzz or slow down? Getting a boozy groove and keeping it is hard not to do here. The mojitos (served in tall glasses) and passion-fruit martinis are solid choices, but the lemony pisco sour is the hippest drink on offer.
Hairy-eyeball factor None to speak of, but there is usually only one waitress on duty.
Morning-after regrets Indulge in the empanadas and you won’t have much of a hangover.
The crowd Not as loud as the bass drum.

Chances of a last-ditch hookup The drinks can sneak up on you, and women there want to dance. You do the math.
Getting there Bus: 49 Western (24 hrs), 76 Diversey. Cabs are scarce during the week. 2977 N Elston Ave (773-866-9898). Average entrée: $12.
—John Dugan

Tasting Room

Settle in for wine-friendly bites at this West Loop fave.
Tasting Room certainly lives up to its name: It’s very…tasteful. That’s not a bad thing, though—the two-story spot is full of elegant, comfy couches, appropriately dim lighting, roomy tables and chill music (although the tunes veered a little too close to smooth-jazz territory near the end of the night).
What to order The Spanish tasting plate—a large wooden tray covered with slices of subtle Manchego cheese, delicious Spanish ham, salty bacon-wrapped dates, Peppadew peppers and some tangy olives—was more of a tasteful (there’s that word again!) late-night nibble than a gut-busting meal. But between that and the yummy sausage pizza, we were pretty full—and happy. The chicken and pesto pizza was pretty damn good, too.
Serving till Mon–Thu midnight, Fri 12:30am, Sat 1am. Keep your buzz or slow down? There are more than 100 wines by the glass. You could slow down, but why?
Hairy-eyeball factor When we ordered at 12:08am on a Saturday night, the affable waitress assured us that would be no problem whatsoever. Ten minutes later, another waitress told us the kitchen was closing soon and gave us another chance to get some grub. In other words, no worries with the late orders.
Morning-after regrets We felt healthy and refreshed after the high-quality eats, but we did regret dropping so much coin (those champagne flights aren’t cheap).
The crowd Most people are down with the vibe, except for some shmoes who were yelling, high-fiving and throwing napkins at each other. But they were the exception.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup Unlikely, but not impossible. Most people here are already paired off, but there was a trio of cleavage-flaunting babes hungrily roaming the premises.
Getting there El: Green to Ashland. Bus: 9 Ashland, 20 Madison (24 hrs). But we’d recommend cabbing or driving—there’s a private lot for parking. 1415 W Randolph Ave (312-942-1313). Average entrée: $15.
—Joel Reese

9 Muses

A Greektown hotspot serves classic eats to clubby crowd.
Ever wonder how the thinner, sexier, prettier half lives? Now you don’t need to. Everyone here is attractive, well dressed and—judging by how quickly we got a table in the pretty alfresco patio—totally starving themselves. Their loss.
What to order The keftedes ( Greek meatballs) hit the spot with their crispy exterior and warm, savory interior. The meze for two, with grilled chicken, pork chunks and a mound of gyro meat, is enough for five. A dessert of yogurt sprinkled with honey and nuts was a crisp, clean way to end the meal. Don’t bother with the saganaki; it might prove too rich for uneasy stomachs. But if you feel like pigging out, the Florina peppers (roasted red peppers stuffed with feta), the loukanika (pork-lamb sausage) or huge gyro platters are worth it.
Serving till 1am; outdoor seating closes at 1am.
Keep your buzz or slow down? Buy as many rounds of Mykos beer as you can before they run out—and they will—and all you’re left with are run-of-the-mill domestics.
Hairy-eyeball factor We were nodded in by a guy wearing a gold necklace who may or may not have worked there, and the service was impeccable throughout our meal.
Morning-after regrets We liked the food so much that we want to blame our queasiness the next day on an impending bout of the flu and risk eating late here again.
The crowd Lots of scream-singing along to “Hips Don’t Lie” and Greek techno-pop.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup High. If a glass breaks and people yell “Opa!,” you know at least someone’s drunk enough to go home with you.
Getting there El: Blue to Halsted-UIC. Bus: 8 Halsted. If it gets late, there are lots of Loop-bound cabs passing by. 315 S Halsted St (312-902-9922). Average entrée: $7.
—Cecilia Wong

Fixture

Beautiful people eat small plates in West Lincoln Park.
A lounge without lounge furniture, Fixture boasts an impressive wine roster and some luscious small-plate eats.
What to order Buffalo sliders are rich with blue cheese and caramelized onions (and the meat is bloody as hell, so we hope you like it rare). The crab and asparagus–stuffed artichokes are luscious and creamy, but there are asparagus and artichokes in them, so you can pretend they are healthy. However, no amount of self-delusion could put a healthy spin on the warm, sugary churros.
Serving till midnight.
Keep your buzz or slow down? Both. Wine is the focus here, with 30 by the glass and four flights offered. But the loungey, low-lit atmosphere is more conducive to precoital canoodling than boozy revelry.
Hairy-eyeball factor At 11:30pm, the host had to check with the kitchen to see if it was still serving. Given a nod from the chef, he happily seated us.
Morning-after regrets You should be okay. These are small plates, after all.
The crowd Surprisingly sparse, but the boys and girls who were there come straight out of that cool, sophisticated, “beautiful people” crowd—the one you thought you’d never infiltrate. Until now.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup High. If you see somebody alone, slide (for God’s sake, don’t dance) up alongside that hottie and offer him or her a nibble of your churro.

Getting there Bus: 9 Ashland (24 hrs), 76 Diversey. Yeah, we know, the bus isn’t pretty, but it will provide a nice contrast to Fixture’s swankiness. Street parking isn’t bad, if you drive. 2706 N Ashland Ave (773-248-3331). Average small plate: $9.
—David Tamarkin

Tokyo 21

Japanese fusion lands on boisterous Weed Street.
If you’re familiar with the monstrous mash-up that is Weed Street, you already either love it or hate it. We’re assuming you love it, or you wouldn’t venture into this zone to save your Grams from a burning building. This Tokyo-themed eatery caters to clubbers, so the good news is you’ll have no trouble getting a table. The bad news is that your faux-hawked 22-year-old server can barely make it through the madness of the bar area to get to you.
What to order DIY maki—diners roll hamachi, scallops and banana peppers in sheets of nori—are tasty and fun, but can be a disaster if you’re drunk. Stick to the Kobe burgers and fabulous “tumiki blocks,” rectangular maki made without nori that start at $10.
Serving till Tue–Thu 2am; Fri–Sat 3am; Sun 1am.Keep your buzz or slow down? Being sober here would be like tripping on acid in church. Unbearable.
Hairy-eyeball factor It was the first time we were ID’d at the door of a restaurant (“gotta keep out the kids”) but the host seemed happy to see eaters at 1am.  
Morning-after regrets The food isn’t going to do any damage to your belly, but if continue the sauce-fest once you arrive, you’re going in the opposite direction of helping a hangover.
The crowd WHAT??? WAIT, WHAA??? I CAN’T HEAR YOU…SO PARIS’S ALBUM IS REALLY THAT GOOD??!!
Chances of a last-ditch hookup You could probably get laid in the bathroom here, or at least in the cab on the way home.
Getting there El: Red to North/Clybourn. Bus: 8 Halsted, 72 North. Break out the CTA pass if you get tired of every chooch in Chicago offering to “share a ride” in one of the plentiful cabs. 901 W Weed St (312-337-2001). Average nigiri: $3.
—Heather Shouse

Hai Woon Dae

Carnivores, this West Rogers Park spot calls to you.
If ever there was a meatwave burnin’ in our hearts, it’s after a night of pint-pounding. This Korean barbecue joint delivers the carnivorous goods, and can accommodate you and up to 12 of your drunkest, bestest friends, like, ever. There’s floor seating in partitioned semiprivate areas, plus a few two-, five- and 12-tops have built-in grills (watch your sleeves, drunky).
What to order Cook up spicy mouthwatering marinated pork, tender short ribs, beef and seafood on your in-table grill. Yeah, there’s stuff for veg-heads, too—namely the half-dozen banchan, or side dishes, served to each table—but why order a so-so bowl of bibimbap when you’ll have the sight and smell of fragrant charred meats sizzling at arm’s reach?
Serving till 5am.Keep your buzz or slow down? A cool, refreshing large-bottle of Korean beer like OB or Hite offsets the spicy stuff.
Hairy-eyeball factor Maybe a raised eyebrow or two, but that could be blamed on the servers wanting to sit down to their own late-night barbecue—which they did right after we ordered.
Morning-after regrets Hangover symptoms were almost nil, but we did experience some seismic gut rumbles.
The crowd Vivacious but not abrasive on weekends. Nothing but kitchen clatter over piped-in Korean light pop on weekdays.  
Chances of a last-ditch hookup Unlikely. It’s more about the meat than the meat market.
Getting there It ain’t easy—the Western bus is a hike, and cabs are scarce. 6240 N California Ave (773-764-8018). Average entrée: $12.
—Martina Sheehan

Smoke Daddy

Live bands and yummy ribs meet in Wicker Park.
When fries and ketchup just won’t do, hunker down with a slab of drippy, meaty ribs (vegetarians have lots of options, too) at this Wicker Park fave. Sure, the bands occasionally get a little loud, and the lighting can be less than flattering (especially if you’re looking for some action), but if you’ve got that raucous kind of drunken feeling, then you’re in the right place.
What to order Stuff your drunken face with sweet-potato fries and the ribs sampler for two (includes two sides). Soul-food faves like corn bread and rib tips sop up the beer sloshing around in your gut, but skip the cardboard-like mac ’n’ cheese. On second thought, just pour the tangy signature Smoke Daddy sauce on the latter and devour.
Serving till Sun–Thu 11pm, Fri, Sat midnight; outdoor seating same hours. Keep your buzz or slow down? Though there are ten beers on tap and nightly drink specials, the band was too loud and our party too small to keep the buzz alive. Do yourself a favor and bring a big group of friends if you want to make the night last.
Hairy-eyeball factor None, though they could have slow-roasted the ribs in the time it took to get our food. And when we tried to order the fried apple-pie dessert (eight minutes after the kitchen closed), we were told the deep fryer had been shut down.
Morning-after regrets We thought we’d regret the coleslaw by 3am, but oddly, the food sat well overnight.
The crowd There were some busty, Bust-y femmes trying to talk over the band.
Chances of a last-ditch hookupDepends. How drunk do you have to be to get busy with the dude by the bar, air-bongoing on his knees?
Getting there El: Blue to Division. Bus: 70 Division. Cabs are plentiful, especially on weekends. 1804 W Division St (773-772-6656). Average entrée:$15.
—Cecilia Wong

Wakamono

Minimalist sushi draws a buff Boystown crowd.
Finding a drink and a date in Boystown is no problem…finding edibles beyond pancakes and painkillers is a bit tougher. Enter Henry Chang, Broadway’s boy du jour and the mastermind behind the hyperstylized Ping Pong and its newest sibling, Wakamono. The sushi is as fresh as the primped-up Mr. Thangs occupying tables-for-two on the sidewalk and in the tiny minimalist dining room (bare, save for a wall papered in a woodsy mural).
What to order Jalapeño-flecked sashimi specials and chili oil–drizzled fresh tofu will spice things up in the rare case that the boys are boring. We also loved the ginger-packed, sake-steamed sea bass, and we’ll likely head back soon for the prosciutto topped with ponzu sauce, crunchy toasted shallots and charred asparagus.
Serving till midnight; outdoor seating closes at midnight.
Keep your buzz or slow down? It’s BYOB, so that’s up to you.
Hairy-eyeball factor At a quarter to midnight we were seated with a smile, though the server did mention that the sushi bar was closing when we ordered.  
Morning-after regrets Fit as a fiddle and ready to take Liza out for a long walk.
The crowd Chill, well-behaved DINKS.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup Only if you’re into threesomes; the joint is couple-happy.
Getting there El: Red, Brown, Purple (rush hrs) to Belmont. Bus: 36 Broadway, 77 Belmont (24 hrs). Taxis may be costly given that traffic is ass-to-ass on weekends, so take the Red Line and walk. 3317 N Broadway (773-296-6800). Average nigiri: $3.
—Heather Shouse

Bravo Tapas and Lounge

Hipsters flock to Wicker Park for tapas and tipples.
Three levels of sleek, blue-lit modern design—including a chic indoor waterfall—seem to be the draw at this newish tapas spot, but the late-night menu of cold tapas shouldn’t be missed.
What to order A generous portion of flavorful tortilla Española, with its one-two punch of carbs (potatoes) and protein (eggs), will satisfy the hunger drinking brings. The salty anchovies will pair well with your glass of sauvignon blanc. Marinated Spanish olives are flanked by Gorgonzola, and ensalada de Mariscos is rife with jumbo shrimp, sea scallops, calamari and octopus.
Serving till Mon–Fri 2am, Sat 3am, Sun midnight; outdoor seating until midnight. Keep your buzz or slow down? Keep going. We recommend a potent Bravolicious—Aqua Luca, cachaça and tequila blended with fresh mint, lime wedges and coconut milk.
Hairy-eyeball factor Even though the place was completely empty (including the kitchen) on one visit, we received no mean looks when we strolled in at 12:30am. But we got conflicting answers to our inquiries about whether we could order food before somebody finally told us we could order cold tapas.
Morning-after regrets You’ll be fine. It’s all eggs, meat and cheese—timid stuff.
The crowd Chill on the weeknights, over-the-top on the weekends. But even if all three floors aren’t full of bachelorette parties screaming for another Buttery Nipple, the staff is pretty chatty.
Chances of a last-ditch hookup Let’s put it this way: If there are any singles in this place, it’s probably not the tapas they’re hankering for.
Getting there El: Blue to Division. Bus: 49 (24 hrs), 50, 70. Either way, the hard part will be navigating the sidewalks overrun with hipsters drunkenly tripping on their own mullets. 2047 W Division St (773-278-2727). Average tapa: $9.
—David Tamarkin