Poll positions

President of the Cook County Board of Commissioners

Tony Peraica (Republican)

Resident of
West suburban Riverside

What’s he thinking?
“Gimme, gimme!” The annoyingly ambitious Peraica, who is one of five Republican commissioners on the 17-seat board, wants to slash the county budget and attract businesses to poor areas by cutting taxes.

You can get under his skin by…
Mentioning that his son Marko was given a cush county job despite having little prior work experience.

Position on reform
For it.

Likelihood of delivering reform
None. Even if the Democrats on the board of commissioners wanted to make the county offices more efficient, they wouldn’t want a Republican to be the one who gets the credit for doing it.

Vote for him because…
Maybe Cook County could try just a few years without a Stroger at the helm. (John Stroger was president from 1994 to 2006; he suffered a stroke in March and his son Todd subsequently took over his campaign.)

Don’t vote for him because…
Peraica’s conservative policies (including his approach to budget reform) likely would go nowhere with a mostly Democratic board. (On a related note, Peraica is anti-abortion, though he has stated that he will abide by the executive resolutions that allow abortions at public hospitals and clinics acrossthe county.)

Best quote
“If you wanted to get ahead, you were a Democrat, and I wanted to get ahead.”

Keep in mind…
The conservative Peraica was once a Democrat for the sole purpose of “getting ahead.” He became a Republican in 1992 because a Republican running for state senator was named Robert Raica, and he thought the name confusion could help him out in the primary. Peraica switched back to the Democratic Party in 1994, and then went Republican again after losing a commissioner’s race in Cicero that same year.

Todd Stroger (Democrat)

Resident of
The Far Southeast Side neighborhood of Avalon Park

What’s he thinking?
“My turn!” If elected president—who oversees the Cook County network of public hospitals, forest preserves and juvenile detention centers—the 8th Ward alderman and son of former president John H. Stroger promises real reform of the ethically challenged county government, starting with a truly independent inspector general.

You can get under his skin by…
Comparing him to Steve Urkel, as one critical conservative website did.

Position on reform
For it.

Likelihood of delivering reform
Little. The county’s large budget and bloated employee base of people with no defined purpose are part of the Democrat-dominated structure that got him on the ticket in the first place.

Vote for him because…
The Cook County Board is dominated by his fellow Democrats, and a Republican president would find it hard to pass budget and staffing cuts to a system that has been beneficial to Democrats.

Don’t vote for him because…
Critics say he doesn’t seem to really want the office. Also, patronage is one of the problems plaguing the system he has promised to reform. Ironically, if Stroger replaces his father as president, Ald. William Beavers (7th) will run for the vacated commissioner seat (which was also held by the former president). If Beavers wins, Mayor Daley will likely appoint Beavers’s daughter as his replacement.

Best quote
Stroger doesn’t say much, but Ald. Beavers—his campaign spokesman—referred to Cook County Clerk David Orr as a “little poop butt.”

Keep in mind…
Stroger was once a professional statistician.

Governor

Rod Blagojevich (Democrat)

Resident of
Ravenswood Manor

What is he thinking?
“Rough crowd…” Amid several scandals, the incumbent governor is running on a platform of investing vast sums in education and continuing his drive to make sure every Illinoisan has some kind of health-care coverage. His plan for a universal preschool program is also a centerpiece of his re-election.

Hair
Blend of ’70s sportscaster, Sam Donaldson and the theoretical “immovable object.”

Best TV moment
Appeared on The Daily Show thinking it was real news program. Tongue-tied by his last name, the interviewer referred to him as “Governor Smith” and asked him if he was “a gay governor.”

Vote for him because…
Despite myriad scandals , Blagojevich has passed ethics reform, hugely expanded health-care coverage and increased education funding without raising taxes.

Don’t vote for him because…
Critics say he accomplished the above by passing the debt to future generations. His office is being investigated by the Feds for its hiring practices.

How does he differ from Judy besides being a man?
Rather than raise property taxes, the main source of education funding, he wants to privatize the lottery and pump the profits into schools.

Most memorable phrase
“This is the kind of thing that I think, frankly, separates the men from the boys in leadership,” bragged Blagojevich in taking on his father-in-law Ald. Dick Mell (33rd). “Do you have the testicular virility to make a decision like that, knowing what’s coming your way?”

Most asinine campaign slogan
“Getting Things Done for People”

The next four years
Expanding child health care, increasing funding of public-education and preserving access to birth control have won Blagojevich national accolades from liberal Democrats. Just don’t ask him how we’re going to pay for it or, for that matter, who’s paid him to get a state job. Last year, an angry Democrat-controlled state legislature, still reeling from his stealthy 11th-hour funding cuts, forced Blagojevich to sign a Memorandum of Understanding before signing off on the budget.

Keep in mind…
His first name is really Milorad.

Judy Baar Topinka (Republican)

Resident of
West suburban Riverside

What is she thinking?
“Help!” The current state treasurer has fallen behind in the polls, but she’s feisty. Her policies center around cutting waste from state government and holding the line on income and property taxes, the latter of which Blagojevich has also promised.

Hair
Her dye job makes the stylists at Milios very uncomfortable.

Best TV moment
At this year’s Bud Billiken Parade, Topinka told news crews that she attends the parade every year and that people in the community even call her “Sistah Judy.”

Vote for her because…
Topinka has made this an election about ethics, and if she’s elected the expectations for real reform of the Illinois political system will be immense.

Don’t vote for her because…
Topinka’s promise to go after “waste” in government could result in the cutting of some valuable state services. While Topinka has tried to nail Blagojevich for corruption, her state treasurer’s office under George Ryan was investigated by the Feds in 2003 for using staffers as campaign workers (no charges resulted).

How does she differ from Rod besides being a woman?
Topinka would likely restrict funding for some healthcare programs—take, for example, her proposed $2.9 billion cut for Medicaid over four years; she has also recommended that in order to qualify for All Kids—one of Blagojevich’s “health care for all” programs—a household’s combined annual income should be no greater than $100,000. She wants to utilize a state riverboat-gaming license to build a land-based casino (most likely) in Chicago and use the profits to supplement education.

Most memorable phrase
“We will take [Blagojevich] out with my little rolling pin, known as the assault weapon. I will prove to him, indeed, it is an assault weapon.”

Most asinine campaign slogan
“Thinka Topinka”

The next four years
Topinka is a pro-choice Republican and, unlike Blagojevich, would require teens to get parental consent for abortions. She is nearly identical to Blago in favoring civil unions, not marriage, for gay couples; both positions have earned her scorn from more conservative Illinois groups. If elected, she plans to lift the death-penalty moratorium.

Keep in mind…
JBT is an accordion virtuoso.