Year in preview

Her Special Day
($15, www.amazon.com)Maybe you knew the bride when she used to rock & roll, but Chicago photographer Johnny Knight captures fully outfitted wives-to-be in some compromising positions: rifling through a Dumpster, passed out on the El and, our favorite, collapsed with her head in an oven. Buy it for your reluctantly engaged friend—she’ll pull that ring off her finger faster than you can say pawn shop.

Extreme Ironing
($12.99, www.calendars.com)Where did the extreme-sports movement go wrong? Didn’t it used to be about half-pipes and off-road courses? According to our calendar gurus, we have a year’s worth of photography that “combines the thrills of an extreme sport with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.” Expect shirts ironed while scuba diving, rappelling down a limestone cliff face or being suspended by a zipline over a crevice. And don’t ask why.

Cow Abductions
($12.99, www.calendars.com)Quick, get agents Mulder and Scully on the phone and trust no one. These 16 months document evidence of “actual” cow abductions, including aerial photographs of places where the animals used to be, should be or, uh, were there just a second ago.

Sumo Day Jobs
($11.99, www.allposters.com)There are few professions as naturally comical as sumo wrestling. The diapers, the diet, the chrysanthemum hair—it’s all so hilarious you forget that these guys could pick up your neighbor’s Hummer and throw it over the bushes. Check out the sumo cheerleader, sumo stripper and sumo chiropractor. Oh, and check out those man boobs. Damn.

Peeps: Always in Season
($12.99, www.calendars.com)Those pastel-colored sugary marshmallow bunnies and chicks you devoured whole on Easter morning claim their anthropomorphic time in the spotlight. See the balls o’ sugar get themselves into some perilous situations: trapped inside a chocolate egg, or left out in the sun and rendered sweet, sweet ooze. Mmm…Peeps goo.

Nuns Having Fun
($11.95, Barnes & Noble, stores throughout the city)This calendar may not be hanging up in Vatican cubicles, but nun aficionados can spend 2007 with those raucous ladies in habits riding around on scooters, crashing a toboggan and wrapping themselves up in a game of Twister. These classic black-and-white photos are perfect for that reformed Catholic-school rebel. Somehow, Priests Having Fun wouldn’t be nearly as hilarious.