Heard on the street

I was so bummed I missed that baby delivery.
You don’t have to talk. It’s a strip club.
I don’t like needles, but I’d rather do that than go to jail again.
Banks should serve food.
Excuse me, sir? How’s it going? So, did you slice this man’s jacket with a knife?
I get to make out with Luke Wilson.
What you doin’, baby? Wipin’ that ass?
He was like, “This is Prada.” I was like, “That’s nada.”
I guess that’s better than an Afro.
Every time I start dancing, my buzz goes away.
I think all women are beautiful. Are you a Christian?
You know, I had to have something, but at least he wasn’t an asshole.
I hate whores.
The cats are having freakytown U.S.A.
I’m the poet laureate of the refrigerator.
Ain’t nobody doin’ no dog humpin’.
See you at the other bar.